The Neverchanging Story
by GaDS2000
Summary: Jimmy and his friends are trapped as characters in a popular story when he uses his Virtual Instantiator to complete a book report. (Rating changed to PG just in case.)
1. Part 1 What Goes Around

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 1:

"Neutron! Prepare to face the wrath of Vortex! Again!"

Jimmy Neutron, 11-year old boy genius, froze in mid-bite of his sandwich. Even without hearing the name he could have recognized the voice at once as that of Cindy Vortex, second only to him as the smartest kid at Lindbergh Elementary and second to none at being an ongoing disruption to his otherwise peaceful existence. Usually he would have responded with a sharp comeback, but today he needed to stay in Cindy's good graces. Resigning himself to the situation he turned to face the livid Cindy, a pleasant smile already on his face. "Well, good afternoon, Cindy," he said. "May I say that the particular shade of purple on your face today is especially becoming?"

"What you can say," Cindy answered with great intensity, "is how you could have ruined our lives this badly!"

"That's right," added Libby Folfax, who had come up with Cindy. Libby was Cindy's best friend and seemed almost as annoyed as Cindy.

"What are you talking about?" Jimmy protested. "What did I do?"

"It's not what you did, you jerk," Cindy retorted. "It's what you didn't do!"

"That's right," added Libby for emphasis.

Jimmy looked puzzled. So did Sheen Estevez and Carl Wheezer, Jimmy's best friends, who had been eating lunch with Jimmy. "Umm, not to be nit-picky," offered Sheen, "but doesn't the Constitution say you can't persecute someone for something they didn't do?"

"Yeah," agreed Carl. "I hope so, because there are a lot of things I haven't done. I haven't robbed any stores, or crossed against the lights, or driven too fast -"

"Why don't you explain why you're so upset," suggested Jimmy, still trying to be diplomatic.

Cindy took a deep breath and began. "You know that we were assigned a book report last month that is due tomorrow?" she said.

"Yes, I'm with you so far."

"And you know that the report was supposed to be on _Larry Fodder and the Tureen of Turin_, the most popular and hard to find pre-teen book of the year?" Cindy went on.

"Of course," Jimmy replied.

"And despite that, you never bothered to get a copy?"

Jimmy looked embarrassed. "Well, the funny thing is I had some expenses with my lab, and I sort of couldn't afford to get one. So I figured that since you always buy those kind of books that maybe I could borrow your copy when you were done."

Cindy forced a fake laugh. "Well, if that's funny, you'll die laughing at this. You see, Libby told me that she was getting a copy so that I could borrow hers and spend the money on a new pair of shoes I was wanting to buy instead."

"So, I'll just borrow hers from you," said Jimmy who didn't see a problem. "If that's okay with Libby."

"Well, Jimmy," continued Libby, her hands on her hips, "the funny thing about that is that Sheen told me that he was getting a copy and that I could borrow his, so I spent the money I had on a new mix CD."

"Okay," said Jimmy slowly. "So, Sheen, can Libby borrow your copy so that Cindy can borrow it and loan it to me?"

Sheen choked on the milk he was drinking. "Uh, actually Jimmy, I didn't get a copy. Carl told me that I could borrow a copy he was getting, so I sort of spent my money on a weapons accessory pack for my new Battle Commander Ultra Lord action figure."

Jimmy took a few moments to speak, as he had a horrible feeling that he could see where this was going. "So Carl," he said at last, "can you loan your copy to Sheen so that he can loan it to Libby so she can loan it to Cindy so that she can loan it to me?"

"Well," said Carl slowly, fidgeting in his chair, "you see, Jimmy, when you told me you were going to get a copy I thought that maybe I could borrow it from you and so I spent my money on _Llamapalooza 2: Now It's Personal_ instead." He hung his head. "I'm sorry."

Everyone was silent at this. "So we've all been planning to borrow the book from each other and no one ever actually got a copy?" Sheen asked after sorting it out.

"I think you've grasped the situation, Sheen," answered Jimmy.

"The only thing I want to grasp," Cindy snarled, "is Neutron's windpipe. I've checked. There's only one copy left at the Bookstore and More, none of us have enough money to buy it, and now the five of us have to try getting it and reading it in one night." She stalked up to Jimmy and poked a finger in his chest. "Do you know what this means?" she demanded. "It means an incomplete, and gossip, and detention, that's what. One of us is getting an 'F'. Well, it's not going to be me!"

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Jimmy," said Libby.

"But that's not fair!" he protested. "It's not my fault that everyone else decided to borrow a copy to read just because I was going to."

"I know, Jimmy," Carl said sadly. "I guess I shouldn't have thought that I'd be smart if I did the same thing you did."

This hit Jimmy hard. While it was true that he hadn't forced anyone to emulate him he knew that he had sometimes given his friends the impression that he know what was best. He chewed his lower lip, thinking about the situation. Suddenly he brightened. "I have it!" he said.

"Whatever it is, don't give it to me," Libby sulked. "I have enough problems."

"No, the answer to our problem," Jimmy explained. "Look, right after school we can go to the book store and pool our money to buy the last copy. Then, after we get the book, we can all meet at my lab."

"And take turn readings the book?" asked Sheen.

"Not exactly."

"Then who's going to read it?" asked Cindy. "You?"

"Yes. And no."

"Stop that, Jimmy!" cried Carl. "You're making my head hurt!"

"Trust me," said Jimmy as the final lunch bell rang and they headed back to Miss Fowl's class. "I've got it all under control."

End of Part 1.


	2. Part 2 Volume Business

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 2:

After school Jimmy and his friends gathered in his laboratory, with Carl and Sheen entering with Jimmy through the door of his clubhouse and Cindy and Libby dropping in somewhat later through the trap door beneath the mat.

"You know, Jimmy, you could put a mattress or something under that thing," Cindy complained as she rose painfully from the floor.

"Yeah, I know," Jimmy agreed. "Did you get the book?"

"Yes, I got the book," Cindy grumped, pulling it from her backpack. "You three owe us $5.35 each."

"But that includes the sales tax," added Libby.

"Gas planets," grumbled Jimmy as he, Carl, and Sheen handed over their share of the money. "What did they print the thing on? Dollar bills?"

"It's only the most popular young adult book series ever," said Cindy. "It's a bargain at any price." The three boys just stared at her. "Don't tell me you losers have never read any of the Larry Fodder series."

Sheen fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well, I tried," he said, "but it was written is some strange language that I couldn't quite understand."

"It's called English," Cindy commented dryly. "It's what they speak it in England."

"Well, whatever it is, it wasn't American. I tried for a fortnight to fathom it. A whole fortnight, in sooth!" he cried, clenching his fists.

"A fortnight is two weeks, Sheen," said Jimmy, who was busy securing the book in one of lab's gadgets. "It's short for 'fourteen nights'."

"Oh, really? I thought it was short for 'for tonight'. Or until the Ultra Lord show came on."

"I tried to read it also," said Carl. "But there weren't any llamas in it and I got tired reading after that part about the chapter names and page numbers."

"And what about you, Neutron? What's your excuse?" Cindy asked.

"No excuses. Just sound, scientific conclusions from basic research."

"Which are?"

Jimmy stopped what his was doing and began ticking off his fingers as he spoke. "First, it's about some kid trying to learn to be a wizard and as I've said before there's no such thing as magic. Second, there's nothing in any of the books that hasn't been done before in other books. And finally, the books are all pretty much the same plot with a little window dressing. The story never changes. Just the time, the place, and maybe the people." He turned back to the device he had been working on. "I'd hate to ever be stuck in one of those situations."

Cindy shook her head in disgust. "You boys are totally hopeless," she said. "At least Libby and I can appreciate popular culture. Right, Libby?" When Libby didn't answer Cindy turned to face her. "Libby?"

Libby smiled sheepishly. "Actually, for the price of each of those books I can get three CDs with some kicking jams. I don't know, Cindy…maybe if they were movies with some rocking tracks –"

Cindy let out a groan of despair. "Et tu, Libby?" she cried, feeling betrayed.

"Done!" Jimmy called.

Cindy forgot about her brewing quarrel with Libby and turned her attention with the others to Jimmy. While they had been discussing the Larry Fodder series Jimmy had been rigging up pieces of equipment and was now standing by what appeared to be five reclining chairs with complicated hair dryer attachments. Cindy was the first to speak up. "I'll bite," she said. "Is this how you style your hair when your mom's mixer isn't working?"

"Laugh if you will, she-hyena," retorted Jimmy, "but this is what is going to save us all from a fate worse than a 'B' grade average. Behold the miracle of the Virtual Instantiator 2000!"

"What does it do, Jimmy?" Libby asked.

"It's quite simple. Basically, Vox will scan the book and translate the words into virtual concepts and images. Those entities will then be transferred via these cyberhelmets directly into our brains, giving us all a complete knowledge and understanding of the story. Puerile as it might be," he added for Cindy's benefit. Cindy made a face at him.

Carl looked nervous. "I don't know, Jimmy. I don't know if my mom likes things that tamper with my brain."

"Yeah, Jimmy," agreed Sheen. "Remember when we had to sort out your and Cindy's memories? I think that maybe there are things in life better left untouched. Kind of like the bottom of restaurant tables."

Jimmy let out a gasp of incredulity. "Come on, guys. This is nothing more than an advance form of sleep learning. What do you have to lose?"

"Besides our frontal lobes?" asked Sheen.

"Fine," said Jimmy, sitting in the leftmost chair and adjusting the cyberhelmet on his head. "I'll do it myself. The rest of you will have to take your chances on being able to read, comprehend, and summarize the story before morning. Good luck to those of you without speed reading abilities or photographic memory."

That did it. The others looked at Jimmy, at each other, and back at Jimmy again. Then with a collective shrug of resignation they climbed into the remaining recliners and adjusted their own cyberhelmets. "I have a bad feeling about this," muttered Sheen in the rightmost seat.

"What about?" asked Libby, who was sitting between Sheen and Carl.

"About not coming back."

"But we're not going anywhere," Libby pointed out. "Are we?"

"I don't know," said Carl. "Am I going anywhere, Jimmy?"

"Not unless Miss Fowl has been wrong all this time," commented Cindy who was between Jimmy and Carl.

"Enough talk," said Jimmy. "Let's light this candle. Vox!" he called. "Activate the Virtual Instantiator!"

Instantly the cyberhelmets hummed to life as complex circuits within them powered up. For long seconds nothing more appeared to be happening. Then, without warning, the world seemed to explode with a flash and roar that blinded and deafened them all.

End of Part 2.


	3. Part 3 What's in a Name?

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 3:

As their senses of sight and hearing slowly returned to normal the first thing that Jimmy and the others noticed was a tumult as of many voices speaking and many people nearby. The next thing they noticed with their dimmed vision was that they were in a large hall of unknown architecture, but evidently of great size and age. There were also a number of people passing by, although none seemed to pay any attention to them. Cindy, as was her wont, was the first to speak.

"All right, Neutron. Just where did your latest meisterwerk send us?"

Jimmy was a puzzled as the rest. "I…I don't know," he admitted. "It shouldn't have sent us anywhere. All it should have done was download the information contained in the book."

"And what is up with these geeky threads?" Libby asked.

It was then that the others realized that they were no longer dressed in the clothes they had been wearing when Jimmy had activated the Virtual Instantiator 2000. Instead, they all were wearing a dark blue blazer with some sort of crest over the left breast pocket, white shirts, grey and black striped ties, dark socks, and black shoes. Jimmy, Sheen, and Carl were clad in dark shorts that matched their blazers, while Cindy and Libby had on pleated skirts of the same color. After a quick inspection of the outfits Cindy gave a gasp of recognition.

"I don't believe it!" she exclaimed. "These are Hogsnorts school uniforms!"

"School uniforms?" asked Carl. "Then…that must mean…"

"…that we're all students at the Hogsnorts School of Magic!" Cindy completed. "But…but how?"

Suddenly Jimmy grasped what had happened. "Leaping leptons!" he cried. "The Virtual Instantiator didn't put the story into us. It put all of us into the story!"

"But we aren't in the story," objected Sheen. "At least I don't think so. But if we are, then I demand remuneration from the publisher, concidental similarity disclaimer be hanged!"

Jimmy thought furiously. "No, we aren't in the story, although we could have been made characters that are in the story. But who?"

Cindy had an idea. "Check the inside of your blazers," she instructed the others. "There should be a name tag or label with a name on it." The others checked and quickly found that this was true.

"According to this," said Jimmy, "I'm Larry Fodder."

"And I'm Cholmondeley Snives," added Carl.

"It looks like I'm Calliope Fernthistle," commented Cindy, who seemed strangely pleased by this.

Sheen didn't seem pleased at all by what he found. "Smegleigh Toadspittle?" he said. "Who the heck would have a name like that?"

Cindy fidgeted, not knowing the best way to answer this. "In the books Smegleigh isn't a very popular person. He's kind of a bully who pushes the students in the lower grades around and doesn't like Larry or his friends."

"Yeah, but Smegleigh? I can't go from being The Sheen to The Smeg. It sounds like something that got splattered all over a car windshield. And what kind of last name is Toadspittle? Or Fodder or Snives or Fernthistle? Doesn't anyone here have normal names like Neutron or Wheezer or Vortex?"

"Come on, Sheen, it's not that bad," protested Cindy. "Right, Libby?"

"Actually, I'm with Sheen on this one," replied Libby. "According to this my name is Crinoline Chumbucket. What parent would name their daughter Crinoline?"

"Well, there are music stars named Velvet and Silk and Satin, aren't there?"

"Yeah, but none with a last name like Chumbucket."

"But these people have to have unusual names. They're wizards," Cindy argued.

"Oh, you mean they have all these awesome magical powers that let them read minds and fly and make things vanish and stuff but they can't change their own dorky name?"

"Well, maybe it's not so bad," Carl said. "Maybe your name is from France and is pronounced Shoom-boo-KAY."

"Shoom-boo-KAY, Shoom-boo-KAY," Libby repeated thoughtfully, as though trying the word out for a suitable fit. "That's not too bad. I guess I could live with that."

"Okay, that's settled then," said Jimmy quickly, although Sheen was still scowling. "We know who we are. But now the question is, who are we? What are we doing here? Cindy?"

Cindy took a moment to collect and organize her thoughts. "Okay. Here's how it goes," she replied. "We're all students at the Hogsnorts School of Magic learning how to be wizards and witches. Larry Fodder is the hero of the series and basically saves the day when some sort of problem or danger arises. Cholmondeley, which is apparently pronounced 'Chumley', is Larry's best friend at the school. Calliope is also Larry's friend and she helps him out of some tight spots as well. Crinoline is Calliope's best friend, although she's not especially close to Larry. And as I said, Smegleigh is kind of the bully of the school and seems to go out of his way to make Larry miserable. People believe that Smegleigh has some sort of connection with Lord Folderol, who is a major bad person that you don't really want to tangle with. He's the one who killed Larry's parents and made him an orphan."

"He did?" asked Libby, interested in spite of herself.

"Yes. But he's killed a lot of people's parents so it's not like it's any big deal."

"Okay," said Jimmy, trying to absorb everything Cindy had said. "So what is it that we're supposed to do here?"

"If I knew that, Neutron, I wouldn't have had to read the book. A bigger question is how and when are we going to get out of here?"

"I'm not sure," admitted Jimmy. "The Virtual Instantiator may let us out as soon as the story is over. Or we might be stuck in here until we figure our own way out. I'm not even sure if we're just supposed to be bystanders, if there's something we're supposed to do in the story, if we even can do anything, or what happens if the story doesn't go the way it's supposed to. Until I figure it out, I guess the only thing to do is to let events unfold and see where it takes us."

Although this was not very comforting to the others they realized that for the moment they indeed had no choice. Readying themselves for the unexpected they prepared to face their first experiences at the School of Magic.

End of Part 3.

Author's Notes:

For various reasons, obvious and otherwise, I decided that it would be impractical to make a direct spoof of the Harry Potter series (i.e., the teachers, students, and so forth), so I tried instead to try to capture to flavor of the series instead. Hopefully Harry Potter fans won't be too disappointed if the people, names, and other specifics given in the Larry Fodder and the Hogsnorts School of Magic don't seem especially familiar. This story is more about how the Retroville gang would deal with being in a series based on a wizard and set in a school of wizardry.


	4. Part 4 The Tureen of Turin

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 4:

The five neophyte Hogsnorts students moved along the large hall, uncertain what to expect or how the others they encountered would react to them. It seems that they needn't have worried, as no one seemed to really notice them. If they spoke to anyone they passed they discovered that the person addressed would give them a polite but curt greeting, but nothing more. Jimmy thought about this.

"It seems," he said at last, "that unless the story contains some specific interaction between our characters and the other people here then those people won't do anything very involved. That simplifies things. It means we don't have to worry about trying to figure out how to act around most of the characters here."

"Oooh! What is that?" asked Carl suddenly.

Everyone looked to see what Carl was pointing at. It appeared to be a large, glass-enclosed trophy case but instead of the usual collection of trophies and awards most schools would have only a single large, shiny object appeared to be inside. Moving closer the object seemed to be a large, highly polished silver bowl with handles and a cover. Even closer examination revealed a small metal plaque on the case with the inscription

TUREEN OF THE FIRST GENERAL CONCOURSE OF WIZARDS

ON TEMPORARY LOAN FROM THE L'PALAZZIO DI ACADEMIA ARCANA

TURIN, ITALY

"The Tureen of Turin!" exclaimed Cindy, quite unnecessarily.

"So that's what the book is about," added Libby.

"Cool!" said Sheen. "What does it do?"

"It holds soup," said Jimmy, sounding completely unimpressed.

"Is that's all?" asked Carl, sounding disappointed.

"And stews," was Jimmy's bored response.

"Oh, pendanticize much," Cindy shot back. "If this was from the First General Concourse of Wizards it has to be an artifact of great power, capable of…of…"

"Keeping liquid dishes hot while serving?" Jimmy asked.

Before Cindy could get out a comeback there was a throat-clearing sound behind them. They all turned to see the source of the noise and beheld a middle-aged, rather cross-looking woman wearing a severe expression, pince-nez glasses, and loose, flowing robes of some dark material. Although none of them had ever seen her before they recognized at once from her expression, posture, and demeanor that she was an instructor.

"Hi," Carl offered.

"Good morning, Mister Snives," the woman replied somewhat frostily. "I trust there is some pressing matter that is keeping you and your associates from your first class?"

"We were just looking at the turin," Carl answered.

"He means the Tureen from Turin," explained Cindy.

"Yes, I was able to gather his meaning, Miss Fernthistle," the woman replied, sounding as though she felt that Cindy was patronizing her.

"I mean, it's such a fantastic piece of history and all," Cindy stumbled.

The woman's features softened slightly. "Yes, quite. We're very honored to be entrusted with it. It doesn't often leave the Academy in Turin, but recent events involving Mister Fodder and others of you have gained our own school some small measure of, shall we say, recognition amongst the our esteemed sister institutions."

"Quite," replied Cindy, not quite sure what else to say.

"And now, if you're quite through lollygagging, it's time for class. Come along!" And with that the woman moved purposefully down the hall with the children in tow.

"This is a break," whispered Jimmy. "Apparently she's the teacher for our first class. That means we won't have to ask anyone where it is and how to find it."

"Why would that be a problem?" Libby whispered back.

"I don't know exactly how the characters here would take to us not knowing anything about our own lives. The less we interact with people, the better."

"Why did she notice us when no one else did?" Sheen wanted to know.

"Apparently it's important to the development of the story," whispered Cindy, who was catching on to the situation. "I think that anything specific that happens to us is what is supposed to takes place in the story."

"Exactly," agreed Jimmy.

As the kids finished their private exchanges they entered a classroom in which a dozen or so students were already seated. As the instructor proceeded to the head of the class one nasty-looking student remarked to Jimmy in a low voice, "Trying to curry favor with Miss Trelawney again, Fodder?"

__

So that's her name, thought Jimmy. "Hey, Cindy," he whispered as they slid into empty seats. "Who is Miss Trelawney?"

"Miss Ingersol Trelawney teaches the course on Magical Conjurations," Cindy replied. "It involves making things appear and disappear."

Miss Trelawney rapped on the desk. "All right, class, I trust that you've all prepared for today's lesson."

"No problems, teach," replied Sheen, not seeing Jimmy's frantic gestures. "Fire away." 

The instructor fixed Sheen with an icy stare. "When you address me, Mr. Toadspittle, it will be as 'Miss Trelawney' or 'Ma'am'. However, as you seem to feel that you have the situation well in hand, perhaps you will come to the front of the class and give the magic demonstration you've prepared."

"Magic…demonstration?" Sheen faltered. "Actually…uh…I thought you meant…"

"Now!"

As though walking the last mile Sheen rose slowly to his feet and trudged to the front of the room, painfully aware of the gaze of the other students. Some faces showed sympathy and pity, while others were filled with ill-concealed delight. Jimmy's was filled with undisguised apprehension. "Well," said Sheen, "I don't really have anything special prepared for today, but I guess I do have one or two things I can try." He cleared his throat. "Could I please have a volunteer from the audience and a deck of cards, or perhaps a quarter and a handkerchief?"

Jimmy's large head hit the top of his desk with a very audible thump. _He's doomed_, thought Jimmy.

End of Part 4.


	5. Part 5 Learning to Spell

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 5:

For a moment or two there was silence at Sheen's words. Then the class, aside from Sheen's friends, dissolved into laughter. Sheen looked baffled at first, but then seemed to grasp the situation. "Oh, right," he said. "My apologies. Instead of a quarter, does someone have a shilling or euro or whatever it is you use over here?"

The laughter from the class only grew louder at this. The nasty-looking boy who had accused Jimmy of attempting to curry favor with Miss Trelawney called out, "Good one, Smelly!"

This remark angered Sheen. "Hey! In the first place the name isn't Smelly, it's Smegleigh. And in the second place it isn't Smegleigh, it's Sheen. So watch it!" he warned.

The response to his words was, to say the least, surprising. Instantly all the laughter stopped and everyone in the classroom except for Sheen and his friends suddenly froze as if some video recording had been suddenly switched off. From somewhere around them came a familiar voice saying, "Exception 4. Unrecognized instance reference 'Sheen'. Hyperthread restart." And then everything resumed as though the recording had been started again.

Miss Trelawney looked angrily about the room. "That will be quite enough!" she snapped at the class, and the laughter died away. "Mister Toadspittle, resume your seat at once. It's obvious that you haven't prepared for today's lesson whatsoever. And your comments, Mr. Fenboil, are inexcusable. Five demerits for each of you."

__

Cadwallader Fenboil, though Cindy as Sheen sat down again. _So that's who he is._ She made a mental note to tell Jimmy when she asked him about the voice and everyone in the class freezing.

Rather than taking his seat, Sheen began pleading with the instructor. "No, really. I can do this," he assured her. He began rummaging through his pockets in a desperate attempt to salvage the situation.

"Mr. Toadspittle…" Miss Trelawney began in a frosty voice.

"Aha!" cried Sheen, pulling a thin rod he had found in an inside pocket his blazer. "Just what I need!" Clearing his throat again, he intoned, "Now, with your kind indulgence, I will proceed to break this stick into a dozen pieces, and then before your very eyes, magically restore it again!" Out of the side of his mouth he whispered to Miss Trelawney, "Would you happen to have any glue?"

"Mr. Toadspittle…" the magic instructor began again, her voice becoming dangerously brittle.

Sheen didn't seem to hear her, as he was attempting to break the rod with his bare hands. Although slender, the wand proved to be surprisingly strong and resilient. It bent nearly in half, but did not break. "Almost have it…" he grunted.

"Sheen, no!" Cindy whispered urgently. "That's a magic wand! Be careful with that!"

Miss Trelawney had had enough. "Mr. Toadspittle, that will be all! Take your seat this instant!"

That got through to Sheen. "Oh, man," he said, his shoulders slumping in despondence. "Bummer!"

What happened next astonished everyone. As soon as Sheen uttered the word _bummer_ a ray of light flashed from the tip of his wand, striking the instructor. For a second or two there was a blinding halo of light where Miss Trelawney had been standing and then it faded. When it was gone Miss Trelawney was no longer there. Instead, a black, extremely agitated cat was in her place which leapt from the floor onto the desk nearest Sheen. The cat hissed and swiped at him, lashing its tail furiously.

"Get to the Headmaster's office!" the cat snarled in Miss Trelawney's voice.

Sheen stared in amazement at the feline, and then punched his fist in the air in triumph. "Yes!" he cried. "I did it! I'm going to the Head Master's office! Take that, all you wizard wannabes!"

"Actually, the Headmaster is the school principal," Jimmy informed him reluctantly.

"Oh", Sheen replied, as that piece of information sunk in. "That's not good."

"NOW!" the cat screeched, pointing at the door with its front paw.

Sheen hung is head and headed for the exit. "Even in a make-believe book I can't do anything right," he mumbled sadly. "Just once I'd like to be the one to get things right. Just once."

As he passed Cadwallader Fenboil the boy gave Sheen a furtive thumbs up and an unpleasant smirk. "Good one," he whispered. "He'll be pleased. And don't worry about her. She'll get hers soon enough, with Fodder and the rest."

Sheen paused for a moment at that, wondering dimly what the boy's words could possibly mean. Then he left the room, lost in his own dismal thoughts.

__

Poor Sheen, thought Jimmy as he glanced at Cindy, Libby, and Carl. Each of them had also been watching Sheen's departure with looks of sadness and pity on their faces. _I've got to do something to get us all out of here. But how?_ After a moment's thought he checked the inside of his blazer and found a wand similar to the one he had seen Sheen use. Some careful study revealed nothing obvious. The wand appeared to be nothing more than a smooth, carefully polished wooden rod. But clearly there was more to it than met the eye, or at least his eye. If he could examine it and figure out how it worked, perhaps he could devise some means of getting everyone back out again. Maybe Cindy would be able to offer him some help, as she was familiar with the stories. So absorbed was he in his examination of the wand that he was not aware that Miss Trelawney the cat was addressing the class until Cindy nudged him.

"…and since it will be a little while before I can resume instruction," the cat was saying stiffly, "I'm afraid that I'll have to let class out a bit earlier than usual. Everyone is free to go, but for tomorrow's lesson I fully expect each of you to have mastered at least one instantiation and one dissolution conjuration. That is all. Dismissed."

The class as a body rose and began filing towards the door, buzzing amongst themselves.

"Oh, one more thing…" the cat called out after them.

The students turned to face the cat, who was now washing its face.

"Could someone step down to the kitchen and bring me back some tuna? I'm feeling a bit peckish this morning."

End of Part 5.


	6. Part 6 Magic 101

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 6:

"Will you quite staring at that wand, Neutron?" Cindy complained. "It's been nearly ten minutes now. You're starting to creep me out. And we have more important things to think about." The four of them were sitting in a secluded alcove, waiting for the next class to begin.

Jimmy looked up in annoyance. "This _is_ important, Vortex. Although I can't fully explain how, these wands appear to be a source of considerable power and are somehow activated by phonetic sequences and combinations. If I can figure out how they work I might be able to get us out of here."

"You really don't get it, do you?" said Cindy with a knowing half-smile on her face.

"I'm not sure I get it," responded Libby. "How was Sheen able to turn Miss Trelawney into a cat? Did the wand go off by accident or something?"

Cindy shook her head. "It wasn't the wand."

"If it wasn't the wand, then what was it?" asked Carl.

Jimmy gave up trying to figure out the wand. "Yeah, Vortex. If you're so smart about these things, why don't you explain it?"

Cindy sighed. "Look. We don't get magic from the wand. The wand gets the magic from us. That's because the magic is in us. The wand just…focuses it."

"Are you saying that people are magic?" Jimmy demanded.

"Well, some people are, like the people here. This whole school, and others like it, are to teach people how to use it." Cindy paused to collect her thoughts. "Okay. Let's see if I can get it across. Most people are nommies –"

"Mommies?" Carl asked.

"No, Carl, nommies. It's from the letters NOME, which stands for 'no obvious magical energy'. Nommies are people who don't have magical abilities. The people who do have magical abilities are wizards and witches, depending on whether they're male or female. There's no real difference between the two, although witches tend to be better at some things and wizards at others, kind of like girls tend to be better at math than boys. Now, Jimmy is a boy, so obviously he's a wizard."

"And," said Jimmy thoughtfully, "you're a girl, so clearly you're a witch."

"Exactly!" said Cindy triumphantly. Then she glared at Jimmy. "Hey, wait a minute…"

"You were talking about types of magical people," Jimmy pointed out.

"Right," Cindy answered, giving Jimmy a suspicious look. "So there are nommies, wizards, and witches. But there are also tweeners, who sometimes have magical abilities and sometimes don't. No one knows exactly what causes it, but tweeners can be the most powerful of the lot. It's like their magical energies build up and get used up over and over again like a rechargeable battery they can't fully control. The stories kind of hint that Lord Folderol is a tweener."

"And Lord Folderol is that nasty dude you mentioned before," said Libby. "The one we don't want to mess with."

"Yes," agreed Cindy. "But for some reason he has it in for Hognsorts in general and Larry Fodder in particular. Larry has more magical energy than most and seems to be some major threat to Folderol so he's tried to stop him by various means, including recruiting some toadies in this school. That boy who made that nasty comment to Jimmy when we entered the classroom – Cadwallader Fenboil – is one of them. And Smegleigh might be another. Jimmy has to watch out for both of them."

"I can't believe that Sheen would do anything bad," said Carl. "He's Jimmy's friend."

"Maybe," Libby replied. "But I noticed that kid saying something to Sheen right before he left. I couldn't hear what it was, though."

"I couldn't either," said Jimmy. "But whatever it was I know Sheen wouldn't do anything wrong. I just don't understand why Vox made Sheen a bad guy in the story."

"Why not?" asked Cindy. "It made you the wizard hero of the story and you think that there's no such thing as magic. Maybe Vox just messed up."

"That voice I heard in the class sounded like Vox," Carl pointed out. "What was up with that?"

"Yeah, Neutron, what was Vox talking about?" Cindy queried. "And why did everything stop like it did?"

Jimmy thought about it. "Well, Exception 4 just means that there was a bad or unknown reference in the hyperthread running in the Virtual Instantiator. In this case it was trying to resolve the reference 'Sheen' with the database. Since there is no 'Sheen' in the book, the hyperthread stalled which generated an exception and forced a process restart."

"But we use each other's names all the time," Libby pointed out. "And we don't freeze up like everyone else did."

"You're right, Libby," Jimmy answered. "But we aren't processes in the machine. We're real people experiencing simulations generated by the Virtual Instantiator. We all have free will and can interact freely with each other however we want to because the Virtual Instantiator has no control over us. But when we interact with the others in here that the Instantiator has to evaluate what we do and generate responses and reactions based on what happens in the book."

The others nodded at that. "So basically whatever happens in here isn't real and won't have any effect after we leave," commented Cindy, but Jimmy said nothing. "Right, Neutron?" she pressed.

"I don't know," Jimmy admitted. "It depends on if what happens here is experiential or purely instantiated."

"Exponential or what?" asked Carl, confused.

"I mean, it depends on whether what happens to us is something we actually go through, or is just a false memory put into our heads. It's kind of like the difference between getting a video game power-up by earning the points or getting it with a cheat code. If we hurt ourselves in here, for example, it might just be something we only remember happening to us. But if we're actually experiencing it, we might actually be hurt when this is over."

"That doesn't sound good," said Libby. "I sure hope that the Headmaster in this school doesn't believe in corporal punishment for what Sheen did."

"Where is Sheen?" asked Jimmy. "It's been nearly half an hour now. Do you think he's been expelled?"

"It's possible," admitted Cindy. "Most boarding schools are rather strict, and Smegleigh has been a problem at the school in the past." She had scarcely finished speaking when a bell began clanging loudly. Raising here voice to be heard above the din, she shouted, "It looks like it's time for the next class."

"I don't know," said Carl. "That doesn't sound like a class bell to me."

Jimmy stood up. "I think Carl is right. That sounds more like an alarm to me." His brow wrinkled. "Do they have fire drills here?"

"Quiet!" ordered Cindy. "I think I hear someone shouting something."

The four of them strained their ears trying to hear above the clanging. At first the shouting was too faint to make out, but gradually the person shouting either drew nearer or else the words were passed along by others. After a few minutes there was no doubt as to what was being shouted and the words caused them all to freeze in confusion.

"The Tureen of Turin has been stolen!"

End of Part 6.


	7. Part 7 Good Intent, Bad Event

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 7:

After Sheen left the classroom he wandered the school hallways for several minutes before it occurred to him that he had no idea where the Headmaster's office was. As the other classes were still in session he encountered no one else and rather than risk offending yet another instructor he decided to refrain from opening any doors to ask directions. In the hopes he might find a sign that would help him he continued wandering about, and either by chance or design found himself back at the display case in which the Tureen was housed.

"It's about time," he heard a voice say with some impatience.

Sheen jumped and whirled about, searching for the source of the words, but saw no one. "Hello?" he asked tentatively.

"What kept you?" the voice demanded.

Sheen decided that the voice must that of the Headmaster he had been sent to see. "Well, the teacher just threw me out of class a few minutes ago and I wasn't really familiar with the building so it took me a while to get here. Umm…where are you? Am I on camera?" Sheen looked about, having decided that the voice must be coming from a two-way loudspeaker but unsure as to how the Headmaster knew where he was. A video camera seemed to be the most logical answer.

"Trelawney has been neutralized?"

Sheen thought about that. "I'm not sure," he answered slowly. "I think only a vet would know for sure if she's been neutralized."

"Explain."

"Well, I turned her into a cat, but I don't know if –"

"A cat?" The voice sounded almost amused. "You were able to do that?" 

"Well, yeah…but it was an accident."

"Excellent. Accident or no in that form she will be unable to maintain the wards. You've done well. Now prepare for the next phase."

Sheen was beginning to have some doubts about the voice with whom he was speaking. It didn't seem right that the Headmaster would be happy he had turned one of the instructors into a cat. "What next phase?"

"To dissolve the barriers, of course," the voice said impatiently. "There is not much time. Prepare yourself. I will provide you with the incantation."

Sheen answered slowly, "Well, I'm not sure. That doesn't sound like something I should do."

The voice came back like an arctic blast that literally left Sheen staggered and shivering. "_You dare to betray me?_"

"Uh…'betray' is such a strong word…I just don't feel sure about this…" Sheen stammered.

"You know well the price for our obedience, and even more so the penalty for your disloyalty. Time is short. Decide!"

Sheen was totally confused. "I don't know what to decide. All I really want is to get my friends and myself out of here."

There was a pause. "Done. Fulfill the agreement and I will bring you and your friends out safely."

"You can do that?" Sheen could scarcely believe his ears_. Wait until Jimmy and the others found out!_ he thought happily. _Maybe I'll finally do something right after all._ "Really?"

"My word on it," the voice replied. "Hurry! Time is nearly gone."

"Okay," Sheen decided. "I'm in. What do I do?"

The voice sounded relieved but urgent. "Raise your wand and repeat these words. _In nihile transmuto…_"

Obediently Sheen did as he was told, thinking only that his friends and he would soon be out of their predicament. As he repeated the words of the unseen voice his wand began to glow, feeling warmer to the touch with each passing second. Dimly he was aware that a similar glow had appeared around the display case. As with most children he had once played with magnets, marveling at the unseen forces that had pushed and pulled at each other. Now he felt something similar but much more powerful, a battle between the invisible energies surrounding the display case and those emanating from his wand. As Sheen continued to repeat the mystical words provided him his arm and wand began to shake violently from the intensity of the unseen struggle. As one minute gave way to another he began to feel drained in both body and spirit, and wondered how much longer he would be able to continue. Near the limits of his endurance, however, the case suddenly exploded soundlessly into a million glittering particles that flickered and then faded into nothingness.

"Excellent. You have done well," the voice said. "Quickly now! Take the Tureen and enter the portal."

Sheen carefully lifted the precious object from its ruined place of honor and looked about. "What porthole?"

The voice sounded exasperated. "Portal, you dolt! The doorway!"

Sheen felt irritated. "There must be a couple hundred doorways in this place. Which one?"

"The one right in front of you!"

Sheen looked carefully and shook his head in frustrated annoyance. "I don't see anything."

"Follow my voice," the voice said intently. "It will lead you to the portal. Make haste before we are discovered!"

The voice continued to speak, urging Sheen to hasten as he carefully followed the sound. Sure enough, the voice did seem to get louder as he cautiously moved forward although he still saw no sign of a door or any other passage. "Okay, I'm following," he said in response to the voice's frantic urgings. "But I don't see anything. Are you sure there's something here? I mean –"

His words were cut off as a hand appeared from nowhere, grasping him by his school tie and dragging him forward. As if stepping from one room to another Sheen found himself in a large chamber with stone walls and floor. Holding him by his tie was a tall man with long black hair, a flowing black beard streaked with grey, and long charcoal-colored robes. The man scrutinized Sheem with cold, dark eyes, and then smiled slowly as he took in the object in Sheen's hands.

"Greetings, Smegleigh Toadspittle," the man said. "Lord Cordemal Folderol bids you welcome." 

End of Part 7.


	8. Part 8 Bad to Worse

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 8:

Unaware of Sheen's actions Jimmy and the others moved towards the source of the excitement. When they reached where the Tureen of Turin had been they found a dozen or so adults and a throng of students mulling about the ruined display case, all talking excitedly amongst themselves. One very old man in particular seemed especially agitated and was muttering "Unthinkable!" to himself over and over again. Jimmy turned to Cindy and raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

Cindy shrugged and shook her head doubtfully. "If I had to guess I'd say it was Headmaster Tremblemoor," she said. "But that's just a guess."

"He seems pretty upset the Turin is gone," Carl observed. "I guess he didn't have any insurance. Or maybe he wanted soup for lunch today."

"I think there's a lot more to it than that, Carl," responded Libby.

At that moment the old man spotted Jimmy. "Fodder!" he called. "Thank goodness you're here. There's no time to lose. Front and center!" Not bothering to wait for Jimmy to respond he waded through the other students, took Jimmy by the arm, and began pulling him away.

"What's going on?" Cindy called to no one in particular as Jimmy moved away.

"I don't know. Find Sheen. Maybe he knows something," Jimmy called back as he disappeared into the crowd.

Cindy, Libby, and Carl looked at one other. "Maybe we should find Sheen," offered Libby. "He's been gone a long time now. It's a big school. He could have gotten lost."

"Maybe." Although Cindy repeatedly maintained that Sheen couldn't find the floor if he fell out of bed she didn't sound convinced. "But I'll bet that he's mixed up with the theft of the Tureen."

"Sheen isn't a thief," objected Carl. "He wouldn't steal anything."

"No, but his character might," answered Cindy. "Maybe he didn't have any choice. Or maybe he was tricked into it." The latter seemed far more likely to Cindy, as Jimmy had said that the Virtual Instantiator couldn't control them. Then her eye caught sight of the familiarly objectionable Cadwallader Fenboil. "And if he was tricked I think I know who might know more about what's going on. After him!"

Cadwallader spotted the three heading for him just as Cindy and Libby were almost on top of him. He attempted to make a break for freedom but before he could take three steps the two girls had him by each arm. Trailed by Carl they hustled Cadwallader away from the crowd and down a dim, deserted hallway. When they were safely away from the others Cindy and Libby released the defiant boy, shoving him against the wall.

"All right," said Cindy. "Spill. What's going on?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cadwallader shot back defiantly.

"Look, we saw you talking with Sh - I mean, Smegleigh - just as he was leaving class. And now he and the Tureen aren't around. Coincidence? I think not," Libby retorted.

"You've got nothing on me," the boy replied sullenly. "I'm not talking."

Although she knew that martial arts were intended for defense and not intimidation Cindy whipped around with a flying high kick that whistled past the boy's head and struck the wall with considerable force. Absorbing the force of the impact with her leg Cindy used the energy to backflip in front of the startled Cadwallader and crouched down, her hands positioned threateningly in front of her. "You want to reconsider that?" she snarled.

Libby immediately leapt to her side, grabbing her arms. "No, Calliope!" Libby cried. "You remember what the police told you last time!"

"I don't care!" Cindy snapped back. "I can still make it look like an accident!"

"Another accident?" asked Carl, catching on to the good-cop bad-cop routine. "No one will believe that one again."

"It'll be worth it!"

Cadwallader'eyes were like saucers. "Calm down, calm down," he said nervously, licking his lips that had gone suddenly dry. "There's no need for any of that. All right, yes, Smelly was going to help get the Tureen out. And I was going to help if he needed it. But he apparently got it done without my help."

"Where is he?" asked Libby. "You better hurry. I don't think I can keep her back much longer." Cindy growled and lunged forward against Libby's restraining grip for effect.

"I don't know. But maybe he does." He fumbled inside his blazer in a panic searching for something. "He said if there were any problems to call him with this." He withdrew his hand, displaying something on his palm. The others looked at it with interest. It appeared to be a pendant with a blood red gem that glowed faintly in the dimly light hall. "It's a scrying stone," Cadwallader explained. "He can see me through this if I call him."

"Then call him," said Cindy grimly, balling her right hand into a fist meaningfully. "And no tricks."

Cadwallader hastened to obey. He stroked the gem lightly and muttered something beneath his breath. As he did so the gem began to brighten, bathing his face in a crimson glow as it did so. In the reddish light the boy's face looked positively demonic. As the others watched him intently they were startled by a voice.

"What is it, Fenboil?"

"Some of Smelly's friends," Cadwallader answered. "They want to know where he is."

"Really? This is a surprise. Until every recently I wasn't aware that Mr. Toadspittle had any friends. However…" There was a pause followed by another, more familiar voice.

"Hey! Guys!"

"Sheen?" asked Libby uncertainly.

"This is so cool! I can see you and hear you! Listen, this guy promised me to get us all out of here. Just step through the porthole."

"For the last time, it's _portal_, you lackwit!" the unfamiliar voice said.

Libby looked doubtful. "Who promised?" she asked. "Where are you?"

"Umm…I don't know exactly where I am. But the guy's name is Lord Tylenol…or something like that."

Cindy's eyes widened. "Do you mean Lord Folderol?"

There was a pause. "Yeah, that sounds right. Come on, we're going to get out of here!"

Without consciously realizing it Cindy moved closer to Sheen's voice. "Sheen, listen to me. He's evil. You can't trust him. Get out of there!"

"But he promised!" protested Sheen. "Step through!"

"We're not going Sheen!" Cindy called.

"I think you will," said a deep, threatening voice. Cindy, Libby, and Carl turned to face the voice that was coming from where Cadwallader, whom they had momentarily forgotten, had been. To their amazement the boy was no longer there. Instead a large shadowy form was rushing towards them, massive arms outstretched to envelope them all. As they instinctively backed away from the threatening figure the three had a brief impression of a winged gorilla bearing down on them before they all stumbled backwards through the teleportal that Sheen had past through earlier. After they had disappeared from the school hallways and the figure was alone in the hall the monstrous shape shrank and dwindled, collapsing again into the form of Cadwallader Fenboil, student at the Hogsnorts School of Magic. The boy-form shook its head in disgust.

"Idiots," he said.

End of Part 8.


	9. Part 9 Shadows of the Past

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 9:

Headmaster Tremblemoor half-led, half-dragged Jimmy down the hall and into a large and well-appointed though somewhat old-fashioned room. Three of the walls were lined with shelves, each of which was filled with numerous dusty volumes of all sizes. The fourth wall was completely covered by a large green velvet curtain that hung from the high paneled ceiling all the way to the thickly carpeted floor. A long table of some dark polished wood was set in front of the curtain, and on the far side of the table sat a dozen or so men and women dressed in robes similar to those worn by Miss Trelawney and Headmaster Tremblemoor. As the Headmaster moved around to take the single empty seat in the middle of the table Jimmy surmised that the seated figures were all faculty or administrators of the school. After glancing at the solemn figures on either side of him the Headmaster spoke.

"Mr. Fodder," he began, "you are no doubt curious as to why you are here?"

"I assumed it has to do with the Tureen of Turin," Jimmy answered.

"Very true. Very true in indeed. Its theft is a matter of grave concern to us all, here at Hogsnorts and elsewhere. It must be recovered, and soon. And to that end, we need your help. Those here before you, your schoolmates, and others like them all around the world."

"But how can I get it back?" asked Jimmy. "And why me?"

The Headmaster and a number of others at the table looked troubled. "We can give you guidance on how to get it back," the Headmaster finally answered. "But as to why you are called is a matter that we cannot reveal at this time."

At these words an especially ancient man who had seemed asleep roused himself and fixed a bleary eye on the Headmaster. "The boy has a right to know," he wheezed, and then seemed to nod off again.

"Impossible, Professor Perdicious" said one of the women. "Unthinkable."

"Tommyrot!" snapped the ancient fellow, who was apparently Professor Perdicious, as he roused himself again. He feebly pounded the table before him for emphasis, and lapsed into a fit of coughing. "Tommyrot," he repeated when the coughing fit passed. "He'll be going into danger beyond imagining, alone and untried. A danger, I would remind this esteemed council, which is of our own doing. If we are to ask his help, he should know full well what lies in store, and why."

The others at the table leaned together and conversed in low tones for several minutes. At length Headmaster Tremblemoor raised his head and spoke. "Agreed." At this Professor Perdicious closed his eyes and appeared to return to sleep.

"As you know, Fodder, the Tureen is a very treasured relic from the First Concourse of Wizards, which took place after the end of the Great Shadow War. What is not gnerally known is that at that Concourse were many of the great nommie heroes who had aided the wizards –"

"And witches," spoke up the woman who had spoken before.

Headmaster Tremblemoor gave her an irritated look. "Yes, Professor Harridan. And witches," he amended, "during the war. At this gathering it was decided to reward those nommies who had aided our kind. To this end all the wizards – and witches – merged their powers to lay a great and powerful spell upon the Tureen so that the nommies there would receive magical abilities of their own."

"Why a tureen?" asked Jimmy.

"Because the Concourse decided on their plan during the soup course, I think," replied the Headmaster. "And its shape and metallic composition made it ideal for the necessary enchantments."

"But wouldn't the infusion of an unknown and therefore alien factor into an inherently chaotic and non-deterministic organic system result in unpredictable and potentially catastrophic consequences for the recipients?" Jimmy went on.

The council members looked blankly at Jimmy and each other. "Umm…yes," the Headmaster responded eventually. "To put it plainly, the Councourse did bugger things up. Unable to control the powers given them many of the nommies died or went hopelessly insane. The few who survived became what we know today as tweeners. A descendant of one of the first tweeners is in fact Lord Cordemal Folderol. For many tweeners the abilities come and go without warning, but in Lord Folderol's case his powers were and are very nearly constant. So it was that he was able to enroll at the Hogsnorts School in the guise of a true wizard. While here he met your father and they soon became close friends.

"If fate had been kinder things might have gone differently with Lord Folderol, but one day during a Criquet test match his powers failed him. Your father saved him from a fatal fall, but the inquiry exposed Lord Folderol as a tweener and he was expelled. He vowed revenge on the school and on your father in particular. Your father knew how dangerous it would be for his friend to pursue the path of a wizard with unreliable powers and so testified against Lord Folderol for his own good. Lord Folderol, however, only saw this as betrayal, and hated your father most of all. When the opportunity arose, he killed both your parents."

"Okay," said Jimmy, digesting what had been said and wondering what Criquet was. "So Lord Folderol hates the school and me because of my father. But how does that fit in with the Tureen?"

"The truth, Larry," said the Headmaster gently, "is that you are a tweener also."

"What?" Despite not believing in magic the news surprised Jimmy. "But I thought the books - I mean, I thought that I was one of the better students of magic at this school."

"Yes, indeed," replied Headmaster Tremblemoor. "Although you were born a tweener your father passed his powers to you when he died. With your tweener abilities, and the wizard powers and birthright from your father, it is quite possible that you are potentially the most powerful magical being on this planet. Lord Folderol knows that and wishes you out of the way for that if for no other reason. And only you can possibly stop his plan with the Tureen."

"I still don't get it," commented Jimmy. "How does my being a tweener fit in with stopping Lord Folderol?"

"The Tureen was enchanted to transfer magic from wizards –" began the Headmaster. Then, noticing that Professor Harridan about to comment again, he exploded, "For mercy's sake, Professor, will you kindly stop being so politically correct? I think that Fodder is bright enough to realize that when I say 'wizards' in some contexts that I mean 'wizards and witches'!"

Professor Harridan sniffed with disdain. "Very well."

"As I was saying," the Headmaster continued. "The Tureen of Turin was enchanted so that it would transfer magic from wizards to tweeners. That is precisely what Lord Folderol plans to do. We here are powerless to stand against him, as the Tureen would drain us of our powers and transfer them to him. But you, as a tweener, would be immune from the Tureen's magic. Armed with certain items we can provide you could even transfer the energies drained by it to you rather than to Lord Folderol."

"We must hurry," said a woman who, with most of the others seated at the table, had remained silent up to now. "A second teleportal has been opened. Three of the students have joined Smegleigh Toadspittle with Lord Folderol or been taken."

"Who?" Jimmy demanded, although he was sure he already knew.

"Cholmondeley Snives, Crinoline Chumbucket, and Calliope Fernthistle," the woman replied as she stared with unseeing eyes into empty space. "Time grows short. His plan comes to fruition with the full moon."

"And the full moon will be…?"

"Tonight."

__

Perfect, thought Jimmy in disgust.

End of Part 9.


	10. Part 10 When Larry Met Callie

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 10:

Although Jimmy still wasn't entirely convinced by what he had been told at the Hogsnorts school he set out for Lord Folderol's keep armed with instructions, advice, magics, and other tems provided him by the council. He had tried to be patient as they explained what he could expect to find and how to deal with them but couldn't resist attempting to suggest some common-sense scientific alternatives. His efforts to do so failed miserably.

"Lord Folderol will undoubtedly have some minions guarding the entries to his stronghold," Headmaster Tremblemoor told him. "Our charm of warding should keep you safe from their notice."

Jimmy shifted uncomfortably. "That's really swell of you," he said as the council surrounded him and begun some sort of mystical conjuration, "but if you give me half an hour I could construct a electromagnetic damping field generator that should render me virtually invisible. I'll need –"

Before he could finish all the council members had intoned, "Exception 4. Unrecognized instance reference 'electromagnetic damping field generator'. Hyperthread restart." Then, as if nothing had happened, they resumed their incantation.

"Oh, right," Jimmy remarked. "I forgot."

The council provided him with several other charms and magical devices to heighten his senses, augment his own innate magical powers, and hopefully defeat Lord Folderol's plans for the Tureen of Turin. Last of all the headmaster dropped several metal disks into his hand, stating, "These will get you to Lord Folderol's castle before sunset. Remember that the moon will rise just as the sun sets, so you must be swift."

Jimmy studied the disks with interest. "What are these? Some sort of teleportation talismans?"

"No, bus fare. The bus will take you to Woodhollow depot, and from there it's about a half mile walk to Lord Folderol's place."

While the council at Hogsnorts had been preparing Jimmy his friends were coming to terms with their own situation. Cindy, familiar with the Larry Fodder series, recognized at once that Lord Cordemal Folderol was not someone they should associate with or trust and had tried to impress that on Sheen.

"We've got to get out of here, Sheen," she whispered frantically as Lord Folderol inspected them carefully.

"Relax, Cindy," said Sheen. "We will get out of here. Lord Fauntleroy promised me. We're just waiting for Jimmy."

"I wouldn't believe Lord Folderol if he told me A comes before B. You can't trust him!"

"Oh, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy," replied Sheen as he shook his head sadly. "Just because he's British doesn't mean we can't trust him. The American Revolution was over years ago. We're friends now."

Lord Folderol cut off Cindy's exasperated response. "Well, well," he said in a cold voice but with a faint trace of a smile. "This is rather a surprise. I hardly expected that Mister Toadspittle would be friends with Mr. Fodder's close associates Miss Fernthistle, Mr. Snives, and Miss Chumbucket."

"That's Shoom-boo-KAY," retorted Libby, wagging her finger in front of Lord Folderol. "Shoom-boo-KAY. Remember that."

"Whatever the names, the important thing is that I have you here. And that means that Mr. Fodder will be here shortly."

"Well," Cindy laughed weakly as she edged towards the heavy wooden door in one of the stone walls, "I really wish we could stay, but I'm afraid we have a very pressing engagement and have to be off now."

The wizards smile grew wider but colder and he gripped the wooden staff in his hand more firmly. "I'm afraid I must insist," he stated as his voice took on a threatening tone.

"No really, we couldn't think of it," Cindy tried, her voice becoming frantic.

"That's right," agreed Libby, who was beginning to feel uncomfortable as well.

"And I think I hear our moms calling us," Carl offered feebly.

In response to this Lord Folderol thrust his staff towards them. As he did so the three children flew backwards towards one of the walls as if in the grip of a terrific wind. They struck the wall with considerable impact but instead of dropping to the floor after hitting they stuck there like flies on flypaper, spread-eagled and unable to move. Lord Folderol walked up to them and stopped in front of Cindy, holding her face in his hand. "As I said, I'm afraid I must insist. You see, it's very important to me that Mister Fodder shows up, and having you here is the surest way of getting your boyfriend here."

Cindy managed to twist her head out of his grip. "He's not my boyfriend!" she snapped after the wizard as he walked away.

"Oh, please, girl," said Libby, rolling her eyes.

"What?" Cindy spluttered in protest.

"Everyone with at least half a brain knows that you two are an item," said Sheen, who had walked up to them but still hadn't fully grasped the situation.

"Yeah," agreed Carl with a snorting laugh. "I know that."

"Well, I don't," Cindy replied angrily.

"Then I guess you don't have half a brain," replied Sheen smugly. "Jimmy and Cindy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S…S…Hey, Libby, how many S's in 'kissing'?"

Cindy shook her head in disgust and anger. "We don't have time for this! We have to get out of here!"

"Mister Toadspittle!" Lord Folderol called. "Come! We have work to."

"Oops! Sorry, Cindy," Sheen said as he hurried away. "We have to get things ready so that when Jimmy shows up we can all get out of here and back home again

"Come back here, you dimbulb!" Cindy yelled at Sheen as he disappeared through the door with Lord Folderol. After the two had left the chamber she snarled in frustration. "I can't believe this."

"Me neither," said Carl. "Have you and Jimmy really been kissing in trees?"

The entire situation seemed surreal to Cindy. "We haven't done anything! He's not my boyfriend!"

"Is that why you write 'Cindy Neutron' inside your book covers in class?" asked Libby.

Cindy looked uncomfortable. "This isn't the time for that. And I was just practicing my penmanship, anyway."

"So why do you always dot the 'i' with a little heart when you do that?" Libby pressed. "And you seemed awfully happy to be Calliope in this story. Is that because you'd be Jimmy's girlfriend?"

"She isn't Jimmy's – I mean, I'm not Fodder's – oh, forget it. Like I said, this isn't the time for that. We have other things to worry about."

"I'll say," said Carl. "I just remembered we haven't eaten yet. Do you think he's going to feed us? Maybe he needed the Turin to make us all soup. Or stew."

"No," replied Cindy. "I don't know what he needs the Tureen for. But it has something to do with Jimmy. I'd bet that he's on his way now and that he's walking into a trap of some kind. But I don't know what."

"You think he'll be all right?" Libby asked, sounding worried.

"In the story I'm sure that Larry Fodder would come out okay. But Jimmy isn't a wizard and he doesn't know much about the storylines. He's at a terrible disadvantage whatever is going to be happening."

"Then Jimmy might get hurt or…or…" Carl whimpered.

"Jimmy's always come through," Libby answered confidently. "Between him and some raggedy wizard I'd put my money on Jimmy every time."

"That's right," agreed Cindy. "Jimmy will think of something, just like he always does." To herself she added, _I hope_.

End of Part 10.


	11. Part 11 Sheen Shines Through

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 11:

It was shortly before sunset when Jimmy reached Woodhollow. Just as with most of the people at the Hogsnorts School of Magic the driver and other passengers on the bus largely ignored him. It may have been that the enchantments placed on him by the school council were working, although Jimmy thought it far more likely that the story required his character to reach Lord Folderol's castle without incident. He idly wondered what would have happened if he had missed the bus, which had been conveniently waiting for him. More than likely the bus, passengers, driver, and even sunset would have patiently waited for him to show up no matter how long it took. _What a bleak existence_, he thought. _A neverchanging story, just like I told Cindy._ Just as an experiment he didn't move when the bus reached his destination and the driver called out the stop for Woodhollow. As he had expected none of the other passengers exited but neither did the driver resume driving. Instead, after a pause, the driver simply repeated the announcement for Woodhollow. After another pause the driver walked back to where Jimmy was sitting.

"Woodhollow," was all that the driver said. "Your stop."

"Oh? Umm…I've changed my mind. I think I'd like to go on to the next stop," Jimmy replied, holding out some of the money that the headmaster had given him.

This time the driver stated, in Vox's voice, "Exception 2. Unexpected error encountered. Hyperthread restart." Then, in his original voice, the driver said, "Woodhollow. Your stop."

"Okay, okay," said Jimmy as he stood and headed for the exit. "I was just checking." Once he was outside the bus it disappeared over the hill, leaving him alone. Following Headmaster Tremblemoor's instructions he headed up the road leading to Lord Folderol's castle, wondering what else he might encounter.

At the castle Sheen was finally beginning to have second thoughts about the way things were going. Lord Folderol had placed the Tureen of Turin on a stone pedestal in the center of the chamber in which Cindy, Libby, and Carl were being held but aside from that pretty much ignored them. He also seemed to be trying to ignore Sheen despite his many questions.

"So, will it be long?" Sheen asked.

"Soon," was the wizard's reply.

"Why are my friends still stuck to the wall?"

"It makes things a lot simpler."

"How are you sending us all home?"

"With the Tureen."

"What does it do?"

"It will make sure that Mister Fodder and his friends won't be around here any more."

"How does it work?"

"It will set things right, the way it should have been from the first."

Sheen considered that. "And that would be…?"

Lord Folderol sighed and straightened from where he had been consulting a scroll on a table. "The powers that your friends have will be taken from them and transferred to those who truly deserve them."

"You mean like Ultra Lord?" Sheen asked eagerly.

"Exception 4. Unrecognized instance reference 'Utra Lord'. Hyperthread restart," said the wizard in Vox's voice. Then, in his normal voice, Lord Folderol continued, "I mean you and me. Once the Tureen strips them of their powers all those smug and self-righteous wizards at Hogsnorts and elsewhere will be nothing, and the truly worthy shall prevail at last."

"O-o-ka-a-ay," Sheen drawled as this sank in. "And this will get my friends and me back home how?"

"It won't, you eggplant!" shot out Cindy, who with Libby and Carl had been listening. "Will you get it through your head that this guy has no intention of helping us? He wants Jimmy and the rest of us out of the way, not out of here!"  
"Is that true?" Sheen asked Lord Folderol.

"Unfortunately, yes." The wizard sighed. "Had I known how close you had become to these three I might have considered asking them to join us. But, regretfully, Fodder's girlfriend –"

"I'm not his girlfriend!" Cindy shouted causing Libby and Carl to roll their eyes.

"- and the others would no doubt try to upset my plan. And so, they too must suffer the fate of the others."

"Will it hurt?" asked Carl fearfully.

"Actually, it will be quite excruciating," Lord Folderol replied.

Carl let out a sigh of relief. "Oh. That's a relief."

"Excruciating means painful beyond belief, Carl," Cindy clarified.

Carl let out a scream. "No, not painful! My mom doesn't like me to feel pain!"

"Yeah, I've got to go with that," said Sheen. "I don't think that I can go along with something that would be exfoliating to my friends."

Lord Folderol turned ominously on Sheen. "Having second thoughts, Mr. Toadspittle?"

"Well, maybe 'reservations' is a better word for it," replied Sheen. "I mean, I'm all for getting ahead but hurting my friends isn't really the way I want to do that. I just wanted to help them out and under the circumstances I have to insist that you let them go."

Lord Folderol's face was a study in undisguised menace. "And what do you intend to do should I refuse?"

"Well," replied Sheen, reaching into his blazer, "I did learn a new trick today that you might like. Bummer!" he cried, whipping out his wand and pointing it at his opponent. At once a beam of light stabbed out at the threatening wizard, striking him and bathing him in the same glow that had enveloped Miss Trelawney earlier that day. Lord Folderol writhed in the glow, seeming to shrink before the eyes of Sheen and the rest. For a moment Cindy, Libby, and Carl held their breath, daring to hope that Sheen might actually defeat the enemy that held them captive, or at least weaken him enough to let them escape. But as they watched the wizard slowly straightened and suddenly cast off the glow as another might throw off a blanket wrapped about them.

"Impressive, Smegleigh," said Lord Folderol as he raised his staff. "But not quite good enough. I know some tricks myself, but I don't think you'll like them at all. _Levito!_" he cried, and Sheen suddenly found himself rising into the air, clutching at an unseen hand about his throat that began moving him slowly back towards an open window. Lord Folderol slowly advanced towards Sheen, shaking his head.

"Sheen!" cried Libby as Sheen drifted beyond the window and into the open air beyond.

"I should have known," Lord Folderol said in disgust. "Just like your parents. Greedy and ambitious, but not really evil. Unwilling to cross the line that defines people of true destiny. The last time I tried this they also backed down at a critical moment. It's taken me over ten years to have this second chance because your parents betrayed me. I had to terminate them."

"You…fired…my parents?" Sheen choked out, barely able to breathe.

"He killed them!" Cindy cried out.

"Killed…my parents? Are there…any parents…you…haven't killed?" Sheen asked, still struggling for air.

"Quite a few, actually. But there's plenty of time to rectify that situation. And now, I'm afraid that I'll have to eliminate you as well. I had planned to drain you as well, but you don't deserve that consideration, you traitorous backstabber. It's a hundred foot drop to the bottom. Enjoy the trip." And with that Sheen found himself free from the invisible force supporting him and plunging rapidly to the ground far below.

Outside Jimmy had been making his way to the castle and was not far when he heard a yelp of dismay high overhead. He looked up towards the sound and was hit by a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach as he saw Sheen's flailing form plummeting towards the earth. As he watched helplessly Sheen disappeared behind a clump of bushes and hit the ground with a loud and sickening thud. Driven by pure adrenalin Jimmy raced to where Sheen had landed, his thoughts whirling in desperation. _It's not real, it's just a story, he's going to be all right, _he told himself. _Please, please let him be all right…_

When he got there, however, he knew at once that things were not all right. Sheen lay unmoving on the ground, his arms and legs twisted unnaturally about him. Jimmy moved closer as waves of shock and disbelief rolled over him. At the sound of his approach Sheen slowly opened his eyes. At first he did not appear to see Jimmy, but slowly recognition came into his face. "Hey, Jimmy," he said weakly.

"Don't talk Sheen," Jimmy replied. "Save your strength. You'll be okay."

"You remember how I told Libby that I didn't think I'd be coming back?"

"I remember. But you'll be going back. All of us will."

"I tried to get us out, but I guess it didn't work." Sheen swallowed with great effort. "I guess I'm not very good at being the hero."

Jimmy blinked hard. "Sure you are."

A curious look suddenly came over Sheen's face. "Jimmy? I have to go now but I don't know where. Do you…do you think Ultra Lord will be there?"

Jimmy looked helpless. "I don't….Ultra Lord isn't…" he tried weakly at first. Then, in a stronger, more confident tone he went on. "I don't have a doubt," he said firmly but gently. "Ultra Lord isn't going disappoint you, because wherever you're going is where all the greatest heroes will be. And you'll be one of the greatest. Ultra Lord will be proud to say that you were his greatest fan ever."

As Jimmy spoke a smile appeared and spread over Sheen's features. "Thanks, Jimmy. Thanks for always being there when we needed you. I just…wish…" his voice trailed off.

"Wish what, Sheen?" asked Jimmy, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. There was no answer. "Sheen?" he tried again.

When Sheen again didn't respond Jimmy looked down. Sheen's eyes were closed, but the smile was still on his face. A white hot rage grew inside Jimmy, blinding him and filling his ears with a terrible noise like pounding thunder.

"Folderol!" he screamed, his voice echoing around him.

End of Part 11.

Author's Notes:

This is a much longer chapter than normal but it didn't seem right to split it up and use the ending as the beginning of another chapter. As to Sheen's fate, only subsequent chapters will tell.


	12. Part 12 Showdown

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 12:

How long he stayed by Sheen's side in a state of shock Jimmy couldn't say_. It's my fault_, he told himself over and over again_. He didn't want to come. I should have protected him. I should have protected them all. I should have found some way out, and I didn't. I've failed them all._ He watched with supreme indifference as the light began to fade and noted in some still functioning corner of his mind that the bright round moon was beginning to climb into the darkening sky. There was something about the moon, he thought. Something that was supposed to be important. What was it? And did he really care?

His gaze wandered from the moon to the dark structure awash in its growing light that loomed over him and he frowned. Sheen had come from that window, high overhead. The others were in there as well, he knew. Why hadn't they come down to see what had happened to Sheen? Didn't they care? Or were they in trouble, too?

Trouble…and his friends…and a castle…and the moon…

Jimmy stirred as his thoughts began to coalesce into coherent patterns once again. Yes, he was here because there was trouble and only he could help. His friends needed his help. If he acted quickly he could still help them, even if it was too late for Sheen. Or was it? With agonizing slowness the shock-induced fog in Jimmy's head began to clear. It was too late for Smegleigh but Sheen wasn't Smegleigh. The pace of Jimmy's thoughts increased. Was what happened here experiential or instantiated? Had what had happened to Smegleigh happened to Sheen as well? Or would Sheen only believe that it had?

Jimmy staggered to his feet, the pins and needles in his legs and feet telling him that he had been kneeling for quite some time. He looked up again at the window high above. "All right," he said aloud. "Let's dance." He raced towards the castle, wand drawn, recalling to his mind the incantations that had been given him for this mission. If he was careful, and caught Lord Folderol unawares, he might yet succeed in stopping the evil wizard's plan. If he was luckier still he would be able to make Lord Folderol pay for what had happened to Sheen.

He came to the front entry of the stronghold and was not surprised to see the massive gates closed against him. Stopping in front of them Jimmy held his wand before him and closed his eyes in fierce concentration. "_Ex substantio ad insubstantio transit_," he murmured and walked slowly forward. Without pausing he passed slowly through the thick wood and iron barriers, feeling a cold wave wash over him as his incorporeal body. Once it had passed he opened his eyes again. He was inside.

Jimmy looked warily about him, mindful that there were probably guards posted throughout the castle, but saw no one. Nonetheless some sense keener than sight and sharper than hearing warned him that vigilance pervaded this place and that he must be careful. Moving as quietly and carefully as possible he pressed deeper into the fortress and sought a way up to the room with the fateful window he had spied from below. In just a few minutes he had located a broad stairway leading up and back and he took this path. He passed many doors on his journey and ignored them, intent only on moving closer to the room he knew Lord Folderol and his friends must be in. Once or twice he halted in silent alarm at some supposed noise or voice but nothing materialized to oppose him. Finally, after much climbing and trepidation he stood before a large wooden door reinforced with thick iron bands and inset with a formidable-looking lock. Jimmy took a deep breath to steady himself and raised his wand to cast another transmigration spell. Then, after a thought, he tried the heavy metal handle on the door. It was open, allowing the door to push open easily. Jimmy shrugged. Apparently the story required him to confront Lord Folderol without incident.

With the door slightly ajar he peered inside. From his point of view he could see the Tureen of Turin bathed in moonlight on a stone pedestal and a man in dark robes on the far side of it with his back to Jimmy. Cautiously Jimmy pushed the door open just wide enough for him to squeeze inside and moved quietly into the room. Once inside, to his relief, he saw Cindy, Libby, and Carl stuck against the wall to his left. He moved over to them, putting his finger to his lips as they spotted him.

"It's about time, Neutron," Cindy whispered impatiently. "What kept you?"

"Plot developments," Jimmy replied tersely.

"Couldn't you have sped it up some?"

"Hey, I didn't write the story," he said with irritation. Then his voice took on a more concerned tone. "How are you guys?"

"We're okay," Libby replied _soto voce_. "But I don't know about Sheen."

"Yeah, did you see him?" asked Carl. "He went through the window over there."

"I"ll…tell you later," Jimmy fudged. "For now I have to get you out of here. Stay quiet but let me know if Lord Folderol sees me." Closing his eyes again in concentration Jimmy pointed his wand at his friends and murmured some words that the others couldn't quite hear. A faint glow appeared about Cindy, Libby, and Carl and rapidly grew brighter. Suddenly and without warning the three fell to the stone floor, free of their invisible restraints.

"Nice job, Neutron," Cindy grumbled, rubbing a bruised hip. "In case you didn't notice these floors are stone. The next time you might put some pillows or something down first."

"That's right," agreed Libby.

"Uh, guys…" Carl began.

"Do you want back up on the wall so I can do it right this time?" Jimmy countered.

"Guys…" Carl tried again.

"What I want is a little more consideration," retorted Cindy.

"Guys…" Carl repeated, more urgently this time.

"Hey, I'm new to this," Jimmy shot back angrily. "I'm a scientist, not a wizard."

"Then maybe next time you should send a wizard," Libby responded.

"Like him?" Carl asked in a panic, pointing behind them.

Jimmy and the two girls turned. Facing them, with his arms folded and a confident smile on his face was Lord Folderol. "Ah, Mr. Fodder. I was expecting you to race to the aid of your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!" Jimmy objected.

"We've been through all that," said Libby. "Let's move it along."

"Kudos for having gotten this far unnoticed," Lord Folderol continued. "No doubt courtesy of your esteemed benefactors at the Hogsnorts school who, I trust, at least had the courtesy of transporting you out all this way."

"I took the bus," Jimmy answered.

"Typical," replied the wizard.

"Hey, educational budgets are tight everywhere!" Jimmy answered defensively.

"No doubt. But the important thing is that you are here. I've waited a long time for this. With your demise and the end of all your wizards friends I'll be supremely powerful, thanks to the Tureen. It's a pity that I can't afford to let you live. In many ways you have such promise, just like your friend who was a bit…downcast…earlier. It's just a matter of letting that potential out."

At the mention of Sheen Jimmy's anger flared up again. "It ends here, Lord Folderol," he snarled. "You aren't hurting anyone ever again!" He raised his wand.

"No, Jimmy!" Cindy objected. "You can't beat him. There are still two more books to go. Larry Fodder and Lord Folderol aren't supposed to have their final showdown until the final book. In this story all you can do is foil his plan to use the Tureen."

"And then what?" Jimmy wanted to know.

Cindy shrugged. "I guess the book is over."

"Then I can't beat him," Jimmy said, looking worried.

"What?" Libby couldn't believe her ears. "If you don't we'd probably stay stuck in here until you did. But why are you so stressed about it? You can't lose. The story must have you win."

"I can't explain it…but I can't let this story end. I'll tell you all why later."

"Prepare to meet your fate, Fodder!" Lord Folderol called, raising his staff.

"Jimmy," Carl whimpered, "I don't like this."

Jimmy thought furiously. His experience on the bus had shown him that he couldn't really change what was supposed to happen in the story. But on the other hand, if the story ended what would happen to Sheen? If the Virtual Instantiator completed the story Smegleigh's death would be definite and it was possible that Sheen might be gone as well, something that he couldn't risk. He couldn't change the story, but neither could he postpone it indefinitely, and for Sheen's sake he didn't dare finish it. So what was left? "Come on," he muttered intently. "Think. Think! Think!"

_There are still two more books to go…_

The Virtual Instantiator has no control over us…

The hyperthread stalled which generated an exception…

"Brain blast!" he cried. "I can't change or postpone the story, but I can keep it from finishing."

"What do you mean?" asked Cindy.

"I cause an exception so drastic that it will force the Virtual Instantiator to reset."

"What could be that drastic?"

"Putting an end to the Larry Fodder series," Jimmy replied grimly.

"But that's crazy!" protested Cindy. "The only way there couldn't be any more Larry Fodder books is if there were…no more…" Her eyes widened. "Are you insane?"

"Maybe," answered Jimmy. "But I don't see any other way. Okay, Lord Folderol," he called, edging over to the window. "If you want to have it out once and for all that's fine by me. But you should know that there's one thing that no magic can possibly overcome."

Lord Folderol paused, wondering what Jimmy had in mind. "And what's that, Fodder?" he demanded.

"The Blue Screen of Death!" Jimmy answered, and dove headlong out the window before the astonished wizard could act.

In the approximately 2.43 seconds Jimmy calculated he had before he struck the ground about a hundred feet below a surprisingly number of thoughts ran through his mind. He thought of his parents and wondered why he had never really thought more about them before. He thought of Goddard and wondered if Goddard were thinking about him at that moment. He thought of the many experiences he, Carl, and Sheen had experienced and the things he could have done to have made them better. He thought of Cindy and why he had never mentioned that he liked the aromatic olfactory emanations from her hair and how pleasantly her eyes reflected the green region of the visible electromagnetic spectrum. And curiously, just as he hit and blackness engulfed him, he wondered if Ultra Lord would be waiting to meet him.

End of Part 12.

Author's Notes:

This chapter and the previous chapter really make up three chapters, but splitting them into two had them end a little more logically and structured the story a bit better. Hopefully they weren't too long for some of the readers used to my shorter chapters.


	13. Part 13 All's Well That Ends

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 13:

Once again Jimmy's thoughts were muddy and it was difficult to think of any more. He seemed to be floating without a body in a black expanse completely devoid of sound as well as light. He was vaguely aware that he was alone in the inky void and felt faintly disappointed that Ultra Lord wasn't there. He had promised Sheen that Ultra Lord would be there and felt a wave of sorrow that he had once again failed his friends. _But Ultra Lord and Sheen were heroes_, he thought, _and_ _I'm not. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I'm not wherever they are now._

As he continued to drift through the blackness he became aware of a small white dot that appeared before him. As it was the only thing he could see he directed what little concentration he could muster towards it. As he watched the dot expanded and appeared to grow brighter, becoming I time a circle of intense white light towards which he was moving with increasing speed. As He thought that he could hear a familiar voice he couldn't quite place calling calling him. It seemed to be coming from the light ahead of him.

"Jimmy," the voice said. "Can you hear me?"

It was definitely coming from the light. Jimmy struggled to place the voice. The context confused him, just as seeing Miss Fowl or Principal Willoughby outside of school always came as a surprise to him. "Who are you?" he murmured with some effort.

"Jimmy, it's me," the voice called.

"Is he coming out of it?" another infuriatingly familiar but unrecognizable voice asked.

Coming out…through the light. _Yes_, Jimmy told himself. _Move towards the light_. "I'm coming," he called weakly. "Wait for me. I'll be there soon. I'm coming out." He was suddenly aware that he did have a body but that he was unable to summon the willpower to move it. He seemed to be in the grip of forces beyond his control that were sweeping him forward to some unknown conclusion. Faster and faster he moved towards the dazzling radiance, and then he was through it into the unknown universe beyond.

He found himself staring at a round white glow. It was hazy at first, like one of his dad's slides, but unlike the slides it slowly sharpened into the shape of an overhead light fixture. One of the light fixtures, he realized, in his lab. Other forms seemed to materialize on either side of him, and he recognized them as Cindy, Carl, Libby – and Sheen! They were all in his lab and he was still seated in the Virtual Instantiator chair he had been in when the adventure began – how long ago had it been? Hours? Days? He didn't really care. They were all out and together again. He leaped out of the chair and couldn't resist grabbing Sheen in a bear hug.

"Sheen!" he cried. "I thought that you were… But how are you? Are you okay?"

"Fine," answered the larger boy weakly. "Just a little…short…of…air…right now."

Jimmy released him. "Sorry. What time is it? How long were we in the book?"

Cindy answered the question. "We went in about 4:30 PM, so it's been about 5 minutes."

Jimmy stared. "That's all?"

"Well, the rest of us were out after about 2 minutes," said Libby, "but we had to spend a few minutes getting you out of it. It was harder waking you up than my grandparents after Sunday brunch."

"I guess I didn't want to wake up," Jimmy confessed. "I didn't really want to know what had happened to Sheen."

"Sheen? Why?" Cindy asked.

"It's not really important now," said Jimmy. "But you woke him up without any problem?"

"Actually, he was already awake," said Carl.

"Yeah," Libby agreed. "And he was saying, 'Bummer! Ultra Lord was supposed to be here!' Or something like that."

"Yeah!" said Sheen, looking annoyed. "Someone told me that wherever I was going that Ultra Lord would be here."

"But he is," Jimmy offered. "He'll be on TV in just a couple hours."

"Oh, right," nodded Sheen. "I guess that's true."

"But what about the book reports tomorrow?" asked Libby. "The story never ended. And did what happen to us happen in the story?"

"Let me check." Jimmy pulled the book from the Virtual Instantiator 2000, noting briefly with faint amusement the message "EXCEPTION 0 – FATAL ERROR" on a blue screen. Fortunately for him the error hadn't been fatal. Dismissing the thought he began leafing rapidly through the book, reading every word. "Actually, what happened to us was pretty much what was supposed to happen in the book. Smegleigh and Cadwallader were involved in the theft of the Tureen. Larry and his friends had actually begun to treat Smegleigh pretty decently because they found out about his parents having been killed, and when Cadwallader tried to have Lord Folderol get rid of them Smegleigh stood up for them. Smegleigh was –" the next word caught in this throat, "- killed, but was able to tell Larry what had happened to his friends before the end. That, with the assistance the school council gave Larry, allowed Larry to use his combined tweener and wizard abilities to control the powers of the Tureen of Turin and defeat Folderol. Unfortunately, Folderol escapes and will confront Larry again."

"Just like I told you," Cindy put in smugly.

"Well, between that summary and what we went through I guess we can turn in a decent book report," said Libby as she headed for the door.

"And still watch Ultra Lord tonight," Sheen added happily, following her.

"And play _Llamapalooza 2_," Carl remarked with a smile as he exited.

"Yes, I guess everything turned out for the best," said Cindy, alone with Jimmy in the lab. "Despite Neutron's best efforts things are back to normal."

Jimmy said nothing, remembering his thoughts as he had fallen from the tower. "Uh, Cindy?" he asked as she began to leave.

Cindy paused. "What now, Neutron?" she asked in return.

"I've never really said it before, but…" Jimmy paused to take a deep breath. "I just wanted you to know that I've always liked the olfactory emanations from your hair and how pleasantly your eyes reflect the green region of the visible electromagnetic spectrum."

Cindy looked annoyed. "Thanks, Neutron," she said over her shoulder as she left. "I'll rush right home and put that in my diary while I'm still intoxicated with emotion."

As the door shut automatically behind her Jimmy shook his head in frustration and disappointment. _Well, I tried_, he thought as he shut down the Virtual Instantiator. _But now I want to see how Mom, Dad, and Goddard are. It's like I haven't seen them for days. I think a little quality time with them is in order_. And with that he left the lab.

That evening in her room Cindy finished the day's entry in her diary. "And when we were alone following the disaster that inevitably ensues from yet another of Neutron's useless inventions," she repeated softly as she carefully penned the words, "he told me that he how much he enjoyed the fragrance of my hair and how beautiful he thought my eyes were. He may not be a wizard, but I guess he'll do until a real one comes along." She paused, and then added a line in all capitals and underscored it for emphasis. "BUT HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

End of Part 13.

Author's Notes:

Undoubtedly some readers will think that this is an anticlimactic ending to the story because there was no magical battle. But since, as Jimmy puts it, he's a scientist and not a wizard it only seemed natural for him to resolve the situation with reason and not magic. I also ask the readers to remember that this is a story about Jimmy and his friends and what happened to them, and not a story about the characters they were playing (except for the situations that puts Jimmy and the others into). If any are disappointed, I apologize. Effectively writing two stories at once is not an easy thing to do.


	14. Epilog Final Reports

The Neverchanging Story

by Gary D. Snyder

Epilog:

The following Monday Jimmy, Carl, and Sheen discussed the results of their book reports as they headed home after school.

"I think my mom and dad will be really proud," Carl said. "Miss Fowl wrote that my descriptions were remarkably imaginative, like I was actually there. She said that my report deserved a really good grade this time, even without any llamas." He consulted the paper in his hand. "No, wait a minute…what she actually wrote was '_especially_ without any llamas'."

"My report was good, too," said Sheen. "She wrote that she was used to me putting something about Ultra Lord in my reports, but that she was impressed in how I used meeting him as a symbol to represent Smegleigh's innate desire for redemptive nobility. She said it was like I had some special insight into his tortured and conflicted character."

"I'm glad," Jimmy replied. "It seems that using the Virtual Instantiator was a good thing after all."

"Dream on, Nerd-tron," injected Cindy, coming up behind them with Libby. "We could have done just as well if we had all gotten the book and just read it like normal people."

"That's right," agreed Libby. "Although Miss Fowl was rather interested in my observation that Crinoline would have wanted her last name pronounced Shoom-boo-KAY. She said it was a keen observation that Crinoline wanted to achieve something important with her life. I guess I wouldn't have really cared much one way or the other if I'd just read the book. In any case, I got an 'A' so my folks will be happy."

"Regardless," Cindy went on, "it was just another case of Jimmy taking us all around the garden path to get to the same place by using one of his useless inventions."

"What did Miss Fowl write about your report?" Sheen asked.

"That's none of your business."

"She got an 'A'," replied Libby. "Miss Fowl wrote that she would have gotten an 'A+' if Cindy hadn't kept going on about Larry not being Calliope's boyfriend. She wrote that Cindy was either in total denial or blind to the obvious."

"Libby!" shrieked Cindy as Jimmy and Sheen started laughing.

"That's funny," said Carl thoughtfully. "Miss Fowl wrote kind of the same thing about Jimmy's report, except that it was about his writing 'Cindy' instead of 'Calliope' all the time. She thought that was really confusing, even if she agreed that Larry was secretly in love with her."

"Carl!" objected Jimmy, aghast. "I told you that was a natural mistake. Cindy was Calliope in the version of story we went through. Of course I'd confuse the names!"

"Oh," said Carl as he nodded in comprehension. "So why didn't you confuse any of our other names?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Yeah, why not?" grinned Libby while Sheen smiled and nodded behind her.

Cindy and Jimmy eyed each other uncomfortably, realizing that they were in the rare position of being on the same side in this situation. Seeming to resign themselves to the inevitable, Jimmy and Cindy drew a collective breath and began to explain with great dignity.

"It's very simple…" Jimmy began.

"Very simple indeed…" agreed Cindy.

And with that the two turned and ran off at top speed, leaving their friends staring after them with wise expressions.

"One of these days," clucked Carl knowingly.

"One of these days," repeated Libby as she nodded in agreement.

"But it will take a real wizard for it to happen," observed Sheen. "Do you think Larry Fodder will still be around then?"

THE END.


End file.
